who got the keys to my jeep?

exit the 101, onto santa monica blvd. it’s just after closing time, and bars are starting to empty out. i can hear my mom’s voice echoing watch out for drunk drivers as a jetta zooms through a red light at 40mph, missing a full-on collison with me by about 0.8 seconds.

whatever.

i’ve had a fun but sober night, checking out my boy qboy rocking the house at senior’s la polla loca at l.a.‘s oldest bar, little pedro’s. christopher and his sexy friends showed our support till 2 before insisting that i need to tiptoe home.

continuing down santa monica, i cruise past some dodgy looking clubs with scary looking hombrés chiling outside, waiting for their girls, their rides or some trouble.

contemplate grabbing a late late late dinner at carl’s junior but the drive-in line is too long. it’s a blessing—another night of bizarre salsa-fuelled nightmares is not needed.

lurch up to tigerheat, the twinkalicious thursday-night club that i’ve been intending to go to for the past 7 weeks. stopping at the light, i contemplate if i’m actually on the guestlist. looking at the sidewalk sale, i grimace.

why does everyone look like they’re going to the gym? why are these 19yo skinny kids trying to dress like triatheletes? or, rather, why are these innocent kids trying to dress like they’re seasoned circuit daddies?

in london, it’s the exact opposite… you have sleazy, seasoned lads, of all ages, clinging to their youth, trying their best to portray an air of innocence, even though we all know there’s not a shred of innocence left in london.

managing to get every stop light, i crank up the car stereo. royksopp booms out on kcrw, and i roll down the windows to help stay awake. next to me, and a half-car forward is a carload of hotties. their eyes are on me, and they’re giggling.

i inch forward as much as i can. i glance over, deliberately expressionless. they turn back around, instinctively. after a few seconds, one of them glances back, and a flash a grin. light turns green.

we time it so that we both get stopped at the next light, this time side-by-side. i turn, deliberately, and smile. they giggle with drunken glee. i raise an eyebrow, and they roll their windows down. the cute one asks me, where ya headed?