i’ve complained, i’ve bitched, i’ve moaned, i seem to obsess over this concept of “change”, or, rather, the concept of “velocity”. never happy with any sort of stability, status quo or generally staying in one place for too long, i am, in fact, moving from san francisco to london.

what’s interesting, though, is how drastically different my life will be in about a week. talk about “change”… this is it. leaving loving friends, the castro, increasing enemies, a wonderful apartment, fun roommates, knowing my way around town. gaining urban excitement, a steady income, new roommates, getting lost and having a novel accent.

this past weekend was gay pride weekend in san francisco. last year, i remember hating it. i remember hating the gay scene, hating the bars, the muscleboys, the drag queens, the dykes on bikes, the peer pressure, the assumptions and the overall concept of “pride”. what am i proud of? this year, i was much less bitter, and found much more “at home” throughout the festivities, which shocked me to no end.

i then realized how much i’ve changed in the two years i’ve spent in san francisco. how, slowly but surely, i’ve become absorbed into the castro, which i blatently despised when i first moved here. here i am, living down the road from the infamous black house, having bartenders recognize me and knowing confidently that going out pretty much anywhere guarantees that i’ll run into someone i know. what a wonderful feeling.

this past weekend, i played a bit of game. my name was chris for the weekend. i didn’t live in san francisco—in fact, this was my first time here. i was from london, you see. all of a sudden, all of the castro/san francisco/california stereotypes were thrown out the window, and everyone wanted to meet me. i was a naughty boy… the halo that has been hovering over my head had been fading a bit over the past few months. well, over this past weekend it fell to the ground in a loud clank.

i bet you’re wondering what the title of this entry refers to.

think about it.

shame on you.

march 15, 1977 was a significant day in history.

i was born.

the first episode of the sitcom “three’s company” aired on us television.

dirty bird.

i’ve always thought that i would make for a good drug user. it’s been pretty easy for me over the years to identify my addictive personality—the way that i latch on to things and squeeze every drop of goodness out of ‘em.

i had my wisdom teeth out a few days ago… it was a pretty gruesome ordeal. i was out cold for most of the three-and-a-half hour surgery, but woke up a few times to feel the doctors yanking and twisting on my molars, followed by crunching sounds (and the occasional “oops”). afterwards, the dentists and nurses were all telling me how i was “a tough one”.

the next day, like most people who have their dental region impaled and rearranged, i was ballooned like a chipmunk. i thought it was kinda sexy, actually, to have a nice masculine square jaw. but, anyway, i had a strict drug regimen to follow — vicadin (pain killers), ibuprofin (for the swelling), some penicillin (to ward off infection) and a variety of rinses and compresses and ice packs. overall, that first day, i was miserable.

but, now, on day three, i’m feeling pretty good. my mouth isn’t sore at all. but, i still have a big ole jar of those painkillers. it’s like when you’re at the movies, and you get the large popcorn (cuz it’s just 25 cents more!), and halfway through the movie, you say to yourself “there’s no way i’m gonna finish that”. you set it down. then, 5 minutes later, you pick it up and finish off the bucket (afterwards licking your greasy artificial-buttery fingers).

well, that’s how my temporary, acknowledged, controlled (?!?) drug addiction is going. although the pain is subsided, these magic little pills are smoothing out my days. i can stay up late. i can wake up early. nothing upsets me. it’s great. i see what the appeal is!

thanks to craigstlist.com, it would appear that i’ll be able to sell off almost all of my goods before flying off to england. thank god for online communities and people with nothing better to do on a friday night but shop for used bookcases online.