anticipation, of what might be
like never before
[so many times before]
the potential
is there for something… some thing

snog in the medieval passage

you’re halfway around the…
back where
i left you
you left me
there

accented whispers

you made me cry
in a good way
like no one else
like no one could
your soft lyrical nature
sings through my heart
even now

green mountain sunrise

and now i wait
for the note
for the call
for you

ta gra’ agam duit

heaven
(london, united kingdom)

you don’t need to think. or listen. this club will move you. the music is amazing, its volume is staggering, the lighting effects and the clientele… gorgeous! i will not forgive you if you go through london and don’t stop by this astounding piece of technology.

cliffs of moher
(lahinch, ireland)

it’s true; ireland is a spectacularly beautiful country. green rolling hills, medieval fortresses, breathtaking views. these 700 foot cliffs create an eerie scene. if the wind doesn’t knock you over, and if you don’t get splashed by the waterfalls moving upwards, you haven’t experienced the cliffs.

zaanvoort
(netherlands)

as far as beaches go, this one is the best. we (3 of my friends from germany and myself) camped only minutes away from a beautiful beach. clean sand and surf as far as the eye can see, live djs playing amsterdam’s rarest tracks, the occasional visit of the fish truck… very excellent. a short drive to the heart of amsterdam, where anything, and everything ‘goes’.

kenilworth moat house
(warwickshire, scotland)

atop a hill overlooking the surrounding villages, this hotel is home to some of the most interesting and talkative ‘locals’ i’ve ever met. in addition to the breathtaking view, it was my first exposure to good scottish cooking, conversation, and bailey’s liquer.

ed debevic’s diner
(chicago)

the windy city is inherently cool, just look at ferris bueller, the blues brothers, harry carey… the list goes on, but ed’s defines ‘cool’. the restaurant lives up to its motto: good food, fresh service. 1950’s diner-style food, including atomic fries and the world’s smallest sundae, and the funniest waiters 15% can buy. if you time your visit right, you can catch a flamboyantly good dj or improptu song & dance.

lloyd house
(caltech, pasadena)

aside from the constant stress from… well… caltech, lloyd house is known near and far to be the social mecca of the 48 contiguous states and parts of canada, and a little section of tijuana. famous for such items known only by their code names, shed, crotch, tfm & fingal, lloyd lives up to one of it’s many mottos: “there’s always a party at lloyd.” diversity and happiness best describe this house of gold.

indiana dunes national park
(indiana)

an easy way to “get away from it all”. camping, hiking, swimming… a day at the beach or a week in the wilderness. very serene. lake michigan isn’t salty, either.

third street promenade & santa monica pier
(santa monica, california)

epitome of trendiness. concentrated mtv-ness. if you enjoy “people watching”, this is the place for you, my friend. besides the boring music and clothing stores, lots of snazzy eateries and dozens of street performers speckle the promenade. and the people there look like the cast of mtv’s “the grind”.

the pier is a carnival on the ocean… the perfect place to take a date; crashing waves and cotton candy.

[this is an abridged version of my college application essay, about my time in the former east germany as an exchange student when i was 15.]

silence.

absolute silence. why am i here? this is not going to work out. i’ll think of something, i always do. what ever possessed me to do this? i can’t believe this is happening. don’t worry. you’ll figure out what to do. just settle down. did i do something wrong? why aren’t they talking to me?

this went on for the entire forty-five minute ride “home.” my home for the next eight weeks, anyway. make small talk. maybe that will work.

“well, this is our home”. oh god. it looks like it’s been through a war. wait! it has, world war 2, i think. “here’s the kitchen, the dining room…” it looks really nice on the inside. “…and your room. you’ll be sharing a room with lars.” then they left us.

“lars, do you speak english?” i prayed to god that he did.

“yes, und sprechen sie deutsch?” he replied.

i anxiously replied “ja, ein bißchen.”

well, at least it’s a start. “do you like computers?” i asked.

“ja. what hear you for music?”

the ice was broken at last, and we talked. and talked. and talked, for hours. “wow,” i kept thinking to myself, “german people are just like. . . people!” the night went on, and i got to know my entire host family. my biggest mistake was to assume things ahead of time.

i was told in a letter that my host father was an engineer. i pictured a “typical” hardworking german with a wrinkled brow. i was delighted to find uwe, a hilarious, practical joke playing, loving family man. he spoke no english, but he “knew” that all of us americans are whiskey drinking cowboys. those were two english words he did know, “whiskey” and “cowboy.”

i had spoken with my host mom, anke, before my flight, and she mentioned she was a school teacher of english, russian and history. i pictured a gray-haired, prim and proper, stereotypical german “frau” with a conservative ideology. once again, i discovered how culturally ignorant i was when i met her at the train station wearing an all leather miniskirt-jacket ensemble, high heels, and some bright red hair and lipstick. she is one of the most interesting people i have ever met. she’s the mother of two, a teacher, loves pop music and dancing, and is very liberal.

after enjoying my first dinner with them, some homemade “american” pizza (absolutely delicious), we talked about everything, from schooling to communism, the holocaust to television, america to germany. i learned more in my first few days with my new family in germany about life, the world, and its people than you can even imagine. i’ve learned that everything is only relative, nothing can be looked at by itself, or, in other words, you can’t understand anything completely unless you look at the big picture.

looking back, i must admit my original reason for being an exchange student was fairly narrow-minded. nobody from my area had ever been an exchange student, so it was looked upon by many to be an adventure. i wanted to learn german and some german culture. i came back, however, with a much broader understanding of the world and my place in it.

over the past few days, i’ve begun to notice two things… two things have uncannily, dead on, hit my emotional buttons, predicting and describing my emotional state. the first is my daily horoscope. the second (hold your breath) has been abba songs.

i’m not a president of the fan club, but they are one of my favorite swedish exports (next to ikea, i s’pose). a friend of mine dragged me off to see a little musical entitled “mamma mia”… featuring the songs of abba. cheesy? yes. fun? you bet. timing? impecible.

my fickle heart has been put through the wringer again. this time, mainly due to myself. my heart is in direct competition with my brain… and, for once, lust is not even a factor. the past few days, i’ve been dwelling on three issues… my career (my future), my boyfriend (my current), and a long-lost love (my past, and possibly my future).

the boy that i haven’t seen in five years calls, and we talk:

the game is on again
a lover or a friend
a big thing or a small
the winner takes it all
– winner takes it all

and, of course, i start obsessing:

so much that i wanna do, when i dream i’m alone with you
it’s magic
you want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
but i think you know
that i can’t let go
– take a chance on me

i begin to sense the breakup between my current boy and i…

no more carefree laughter
silence ever after
walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes
here is where the story ends, this is goodbye
knowing me, knowing you
– knowing me, knowing you

and then, right now, start to look to the future

i’ve had a few little love affairs
they didn’t last very long and they’ve been pretty scarce
i used to think that was sensible
it makes the truth even more incomprehensible
’cause everything is new
and everything is you
and all i’ve learned has overturned
what can i do…
– lay all your love on me

but, as always, i’m happy. an adventure. some newness. for now. am i right? am i wrong? or am i just dreaming?