i used to think it was just a matter of preference—then i realized that there’s more to the game. it’s all about criteria. my criteria are usually pretty straightforward. primarily: young looking, attractive, friendly (gotta have that smile). after that, my criteria would include that he’s somewhat
educated, can hold a conversation, not just a good, but an âintelligentâ sense of humor, and, overall, just has fun with life. pretty simple. today, after several fairly pathetic attempts at “hooking up” (as they say), i think i broke through. slightly. it’s always easier when someone introduces you. some things in life are just meant to happen through connections — finding that perfect apartment, finding that perfect job opening, and, of course, finding that special boy of your dreams.

i don’t want to build it up—chances are the bloke won’t even call me. but, what was interesting was his criteria. on the dancefloor, i was all about making smalltalk and having a larph. he was as well, but, in retrospect, his questions were very specific. in addition to the usual banter about “where do you live”, and “what do you do”, he asked questions like, “what’s the longest relationship you’ve been in”, and, “are you out to your parents”. very interesting. in one sense, i feel that that signifies that he’s immature and should know better… he should be a better judge of character to not -have- to ask such silly questions. but, at the same, i recognize that, because he’s young and cute, he’s probably been stuck with some real tcols (true champs of life). anyway, i feel like, with most aspects of my life, i don’t like to play the game the way everyone else is playing it.

the gay scene in san francisco is excruciating. water water everywhere, but nary a drop to drink. so true. so many unapproachable young lads. so many overapproachable young lads. and then me. i just need to dive in and see what happens. today, perhaps, i’ve at least walked up to the edge of the diving board. maybe i’ve jumped – we’ll see if he calls ã